"H-how dare you?!" she said, as she kicked me out of the helicopter. Happy birthday indeed... of course, I have to go back a bit before you can understand this. My name is Axel Chase, but you won't find that on any list of names. If you look really tough in the right place, you might hear rumours about my name - they're all untrue. What I did was more impressive. I'm part of an elite private intelligence agency, we've done company espionage, white-collar ****, you know? But we're not afraid to get blood on our collars, if you know what I mean. 

Truthfully? It's not the best life, but it pays the bills. When I was 13, my friends dreamed of being in the army. I dreamed of being in the CIA - not that I could get anywhere governmental; I couldn't follow orders long enough to make it in the army. Today was my ex-wife's birthday(not that I'd remembered, stone cold *****es don't deserve my memory banks), but aside from that, it was an ordinary day at the office. My boss walked up to me, and quietly asked if I could get on a plane to France to hand over some files he'd been collecting for a contractor. I hastily agreed.

The trip wasn't exactly first class - I was smuggled on-board a private plane a client of ours was taking to France. Ever seen how tough airport security gets? I had to get past all that. I kept telling myself to stick to routine, but even though I've done it a hundred times before, that feeling of constant apprehension and even more constant pain from the cramped conditions can never truly be conquered.

But yet I made it, just as I always had. The plane trip was uneventful, and when it was time to get off I nodded to the man - rather eccentric, but he didn't mind my stoic behaviour. "If you're handling my information I don't mind the silence," was how he always put it. Definitely a good mentality to have. Looking down the alleys in the streets I noticed something rather odd... for a European city(especially one in France) the streets seemed empty - almost deserted. And then I saw it. The little red dot that signified a laser, aimed right at the sign next to me. I dove sharply to the left, across the narrow street and into a back alley - watching bits of the pavement fly through the air right where I was standing; right where I would have died, had I not been vigilant. 

The moral of the story? Look both ways before you cross the street.